Finding happiness in the outdoors.

Happiness. That magical yet elusive noun—tops the list of what most people wish for in life. What do you want most in life? “Happiness”. What do you want for your loved ones? “Happiness”. What do you most wish you will feel on your deathbed? “I lived a happy life”.

The problem is we as humans struggle to find it and often mistake what happiness is – confusing it with external gratification instead. We seek it in the money we make, the status of a shiny new car, retail therapy, attaining the ‘perfect’ body! Some of us think fame will make us happy – we want more food, sex, alcohol, drugs and possessions – all in an attempt to ‘be’ happy. And then of course there is – what I like to call – ‘the happiness trifecta’ – the perfect house, job and partner! 

Now surely once this is achieved we must become happy - right?! 

All of these things can, and often do, contribute to happiness.  The key here is can – they can also take from our happiness. Distract us from our happiness. For true happiness comes from within the deep well of our soul.  For that we have to be still enough to listen to what our heart really desires. It is only by spending time reflecting, listening to our own heart and voice that we can get to know what truly makes us happy.

It has taken me this long in life to see and understand  this – that I am responsible for my own happiness. No one else. I know- scary right?! I can experience happy moments from outside sources, but deep lasting happiness comes from my own internal state and outlook on life.

Have you ever walked barefoot at dawn surrounded by nature, immersing yourself in the sights and sounds around you? The birdsong, the feeling of the fresh air on your skin, the goosebumps welling up from the feeling of being at one with yourself – feeling alive, your breath in communion with your senses – stimulated and prickling with energy.  Your natural state is recharging and you feel alive!  

“Happiness!”

Sometimes I get triggered when people carelessly refer to the countryside as “the middle of nowhere,” my response back – this is how I feel in the city! – at its most basic level – a waste of concrete, ugliness and loneliness, packed with stressed city dwellers on a rat race ferris wheel. 

I never feel like this in the countryside. 

Where I grew up in the West of Ireland there is always a beautiful walk to be had by the sea or through fields, a good book to read beside an open fire, delicious home grown food to be prepared and the sea waiting to swim in. A community which undoubtedly knows everything about you but who are there for you should you ever need anything at all – nothing is too much bother. 

Community and Connection.

These are sadly lacking in a lot of city dwellers lives and I think this is a huge factor in finding happiness. It is our lack of human connection which can lead to depression, sadness, disconnection and loneliness.

So what does “feeling at one” with yourself even mean?  That, my friends is the ultimate question we all have to ask ourselves in our pursuit of happiness. 

I am talking from experience when I say that it is only when you build up your own self-worth, love, connect with nature and the people around you, have gratitude for all things in life – true happiness is possible.  The huge empty void felt inside that we try to stuff full with the distractions mentioned above only digs a deeper hole – constantly needing more and never satiated – until one day we stop what we are doing, realise that happiness lies within and appreciate the beauty in all things life offers – right here, right now. 

Learning to see the beauty amongst the concrete jungle – in both the wonderful people forging a life within, creating more beauty themselves, and yes here in a city like London. I am grateful to live beside Battersea Park – a true gem on the river Thames in the heart of this extraordinary city. 

When you truly love yourself and value your happiness before anything else, no one can come in between you and your connected new state.  People come and go before you. Dramas come and go. You are immune. Nothing can take what you have inside you. Someone is horrible to you and you just see before you a person who is themselves unhappy.  You won’t let them take your energy. You will not lower yourself to their level of energy. You will preserve yours and simply walk away. 

Often times we struggle maintaining happiness when we are going through hard times. Of course sadness affects us all.  Tragedies happen to us all. Loved ones have accidents, sickness or pass away. We get injured, indeed some of us are born with disabilities, so look at the wonderful people amongst us who have overcome so much adversity in life, and still manage to obtain a happy state of mind. 

When you feel sad, let yourself feel it – be kind to yourself and let all the feelings out – in a safe contained space.  Write about them in your journal, speak to a professional, or just cry. And sometimes you don’t need to make sense of what it is you are feeling – they are simply emotions which we need to release from our bodies. But be patient with yourself and again, be good to yourself.  Give yourself a break. Take a step back. Reconnect with nature and with yourself. Once you do you will get your equilibrium back. Nothing can keep you down for long once you develop a deep contentment and acceptance of yourself. 

And This Is Self Care.

Self-care means something different to us all. Whatever it is, will be the foundation in our journey towards living in a state of contentment – what (we) call happiness :)